Sexual violence can have lasting physical and emotional effects on a victim. Victims often suffer from depression and sometimes turn to drugs and alcohol to cope. Many victims drop out of school. Sexual violence can be one horrible moment that last only a few minutes, but its effects can be felt for a lifetime.
Sophomore, University of Maryland, College Park
My rape was bad, but at least it was just one night and it was over. I could remind myself of that when things (like the intrusive thoughts or nightmares) got bad. I was raped by a guy I knew, had classes with. He got me drunk--fed me shots all night, and then insisted he wanted to "make sure you get back to your house safely." He convinced my friends to let him take me home and they stayed out. Once we got to my house, he wouldn't leave, he held me down and he raped me while I cried and said "please don't." I believe he planned the whole thing out.
What wasn't over though, and what hurt me even more than the physical act of rape, and made me feel even more dirty and alone, was how my friends treated me. It was my girlfriends who were the worst. After a few weeks they expected me to "just get over it." They got annoyed when I didn't want to go out with them, or do things that reminded me too much of the night of the assault. One girl said "you're just a downer now. I don't want to be around you." They asked me things like "are you sure you're not just remembering it wrong?" Several of them said things like "I bet he didn't mean to rape you."
They couldn't believe that he, someone they knew and who had seemed nice, had really hurt me. Like I was making it all up in my head. My circle got smaller and smaller, and they chose him by pretending that everything was fine, over supporting me. This rape took away a lot of things: my sense of safety and security, my virginity, feeling free and unburdened, many friends, and my whole sophomore year of college. I'm finding a new me, but those are things that are gone forever.
